


Eldritch Antibodies

by Alienea, pleasekalemenow



Series: The Inherent Romanticism of Dragons [27]
Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Other, sometimes you hear ur eldritch symbiote trying to train your immune system, thats just how it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:08:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24740554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alienea/pseuds/Alienea, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasekalemenow/pseuds/pleasekalemenow
Summary: Nyarlathotep is not having Lyf's immune system fall down on the job just because they have an eldritch symbiote, thankyouverymuch.
Series: The Inherent Romanticism of Dragons [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1832185
Comments: 17
Kudos: 73





	Eldritch Antibodies

Human bodies had a lot of things that could, theoretically, go wrong with them. Nyarlathotep was, at this point, familiar with most of them, and had seen the rest in other people. Lyf’s immune system was good, but it spent most of its energy dealing with the leftover remnants of the black box. Nyarl couldn’t imagine what sort of overtime it had been doing before he had cut off that connection and protected Lyf, but it was being a bit slow to realize that it didn’t need to attack all eldritch influences. Still, Nyarl could deal with that and also pick up the slack for Lyf’s immune system. Especially when in a new place where fae and humans were mixing, and so were all their sicknesses that their bodies didn’t even recognize as illnesses anymore.

Nyarl carefully puppeted a dead virus in front of Lyf’s white blood cells.  _ This is your prey. C’mon. Attack it. _ The fact that Lyf’s immune system could not talk and in fact was not independently intelligent was not going to stop Nyarl from narrating. Otherwise this would get boring, and Nyarl still had samples from two other viruses and three more bacteria to train Lyf’s immune system on.

... _ Hey, uh. Nyarl? _

_... Yes? _ Nyarl moves her attention from inside Lyf to focusing on Lyf and around them, checking for danger.  _ Something wrong? _

Lyf is in no danger, they were just reading when suddenly they heard their Void bein’ wild inside them. They are gently squinting at nothing above their book now.  _ You, uh. You good there, buddy? Do we have a brain cat as well that you’re trying to teach? _

_...Ah. I mean, the immune system is... sort of like a cat? I suppose? Not really. Hm. No, apologies, I was talking to your immune system. Trying to train it on some of the bugs that the Hoard has. _ Nyarl is vaguely embarrassed but mostly about being heard, not about the training.

_ You were. Talking to my immune system? _ This clarifies nothing for them.  _ Is my immune system sentient? Is that a new body change? _

_ Uhm. No. It’s. More talking to myself while I try to train your immune system but pretending I’m talking to your immune system. I’m trying to train it to go back to focusing on normal threats, not eldritch ones, since I can handle those. _ Nyarl blobs on Lyf’s shoulder and leans against them.  _ So. Retraining. But no, your immune system is not sentient, except for the part of it that’s me helping it. _

Lyf is incredibly endeared.  _ So you’re like a momma cat dangling mostly-dead prey in front of her kittens to try to help them learn? _

_ Well. Yes. That’s an accurate assessment. Sorry about being loud enough that it distracted you. _

_ No, it’s cute. You’re cute. _

_ Well, I’m glad you think so, because I have more samples to teach your immune system on, so you’re probably going to be hearing more of it. _ Nyarl gives Lyf a quick smooch on the cheek.  _ It’s not healthy for me to handle all of it, after all. And then maybe it’ll stop being overactive on eldritch threats. _

_ Oh, is my immune system giving you trouble? Sorry, I’d tell it to behave if I had fucking any control over my body’s automatic processes. _

_ Not your fault. It did a remarkably good job of taking care of you while you were within the influence of the Black Box, and I appreciate it because of that. It’ll figure out that I’m helping eventually. Besides, luckily we’re fairly different influences. I’ve mostly been coasting under its notice. _ Nyarl nuzzles against Lyf’s cheek.  _ I’m glad that it did such a good job. _

Lyf feels confusingly praised by this despite having no say over their immune system and its workings.  _ Ah yes, my immune system was excellent back when I ate regular, healthy meals. Didn’t realize my body was literally processing the Black Box as an illness. Makes sense! _

_ It does! The Black Box sucked. Your body was right to point at it and say ew that’s an illness. And now your immune system can devote all of its focus to normal illness, and I can cover the eldritch side, and you will be very healthy! So it all works out. _ Nyarl curls around Lyf and hugs them.  _ It’s what you deserve. _

Lyf simply sets the book down to cuddle back. _ You’re too kind. _

_ I speak the truth as I see it. And I see that you deserve kindness, and have had a deficit of it, so I will have to help make up for that. I  _ guess _ everyone else can do so as well. And have been. But this is something I can do for you, and especially for your rights of being able to interact with people and not deal with being in a new environment with new bugs. _

Lyf knows nothing of bacteria really, since, in the words of ye olde bard John Mulaney, “Oh fuck it’s the old times.”  _ Huh. Is that why I get a cold every time I quest? I figured it was just stress. _

_ Partially. The Black Box definitely didn’t help with that. _ Nyarl knows about bacteria by rights of being an eldritch god who’s explored through many bodies, and seen what causes what. Still, they’re mostly a theory to everyone else.  _ There’s little tiny things that mostly your body doesn’t even notice, but they can get nasty. And your immune system takes care of them, when they do, but it needs to learn the new ones. So I’m making sure it learns them without you having to get sick. Stress does make it harder for it to work, though. _

_ Wow, surprising that I’m ever not sick frankly, given. _ They gesture internally at their lifetime of stress and trauma.

_ You have a very good immune system. And now you have me, as well. _ Nyarl hugs tight, before going back to relaxed cuddling.  _ And there’s Raphaella, as well. You’re going to be okay, even if you do get sick. _

_ I know. _ They have no doubts about this.  _ You take excellent care of me. And Raphaella transed Marius and I’s genders, and you’re friends, so I trust her, too. _

_ She’s had centuries, and like I said, I taught her for a while. _ Nyarl yawns and stretches before settling back over Lyf.  _ I can trans genders to, if you like messing around with that. Swap to what you want at the moment. I can do most body modifications, really, as you saw with the hair. _

_ Oh? Sick I won’t have to harass Raph every time I want to fuck around with different junk. That’s very neat.  _ They pause.  _ I know I’ve said this before, but. Thank you. For the hair. It really did mean a lot to me. Does. Mean a lot to me. _

_ I’m glad I could help. Let me know if you ever need a hair ribbon or ornament to keep it in a style. _

Nyarl can feel Lyfrassir’s train of thought veer violently off the tracks at that, despite them trying very hard to avoid it crashing entirely. Their attempts are in vain. They are simply hearing gay fantasy Kill Bill sirens. Nyarl projects the feeling of a gay grin at Lyf.

_ Yes, I do know what that means for you, and I do mean it. I can get fancy as well, if you want, look. _ Nyarl extends a ribbon of self and patterns it, waves and fish rolling around between each other. It’s all dark colors, but there are colors.  _ And beads. Lots of things. _

Lyf has several moments of gay panic and deliberation.  _...That could be nice. It’s. Not like we could get more married than literally sharing one flesh. _ They are Blushing. Nyarl starts purring.

_ So that’s a yes? Oh, I can do a smaller braid on top that can represent me since the only hair I have is your hair. I mean, the ribbon already would, though. I suppose we can talk about logistics. Not right now, though. _

_ Not right now, no. We should split the hair down the middle and each do one side. You aren’t a smaller part of us.  _ Lyf kisses the back of their hand tenderly. Nyarl’s train of thought crashes off into the gay fantasy Kill Bill sirens part of Lyf’s brain, and starts doing the same thing.

_ Aaaaaaa? Lyf. Yes. Uhm. In all fairness to Marius. We should probably also have a section of your hair for him to braid, since the two of you are married. _

_ Oh...we could braid three sections...then braid them together…  _ Lyf’s homosexuality knows no bounds.

_ That’s an excellent idea. We should do that. For now, keep reading? I was enjoying it while trying to teach your immune system. Or we can just keep on cuddling. Not really a just. _

_ I would very much like to not be sick so. I can keep reading. We can cuddle after? And probably also-  _ talk _ to Marius, yeah? I mean, he knows, that we’re- you know. But communication. _

_ Yeah, we should talk to Marius. Now that I know I am sticking around with you, we can explore the fact that you said you both like the idea of me being a voyeur. Other relationship stuff too but that sort of stuck with me! Anyways. Yes. _ Nyarl gloops back inside of Lyf.  _ I will go back to teaching your immune system. Thank you for reading. _

_ And thank you for your care. Your devilish wit truly does extend to homosexual wisdom. _ Lyf smirks at their book at the use of ‘devil,’ which Nyarl can tell they mean affectionately. Nyarl grumbles about it, but Lyf can tell it’s mostly for show. Then Lyf starts hearing tiny snippets of Nyarl talking to their immune system again, trying to teach it how to handle various illnesses. Lyf smiles fondly, and murmurs their reading so they feel more deliberately like they’re reading  _ to _ Nyarl, although they know ze can hear regardless. They like being intentional about their care; it would be too easy to assume Nyarl is getting what they need, and it might be easy for Nyarl to think Lyf isn’t thinking about her. A soft smile plays over their lips as they tell their Void a story, and they only get sort of distracted by the adorable self-talk. They are, after all, still gay.


End file.
